Thought I should get back to this. Spent the last couple of weeks taking care of my wife after her surgery, so this was on the back burner.
My thought for the day is this...thank God I'm a man.
I do not mean anything sexist by that statement. All I do mean is this: Thank God I am not a woman.
I have sat through two of my sister's births. Now, I have been with my wife through this ordeal. Frankly, I could never deal with the pain I have seen. In fact, not only could I not deal with it...I would probably end up crying like a little girl. Yes, that's right...a little, whiny girl.
I have seen things plucked from, pulled out of, put into and yanked from a woman's body...my gosh...how do they do it? I called the doctor "Kevorkian" when he gave me 1 stitch. O-N-E stitch.
So, today...here's to our women folk. May you be blessed, and may all the bad painful stuff always happen to you.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Friday, December 7, 2007
TIVO and DVR's...The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread!
I've always touted the greatness of DVR's (Digital Video Recorders). But, until Shannon's surgery yesterday, I never knew just how great!
First, the bad news...We watch alot of TV. I mean alot. If we watch less than 50 hours per week, I would be surprised. So, needless to say, when something pops up like a surgery, it's a relief to know that our best friends will be with us when we get home (our shows, of course!).
After staying with Shannon for 14 hours at the hospital, it was nice to be comforted by Earl Hickey when I got home. And Gil Grissom tucked me in. And, I woke up to Captain Janeway saving the Delta Quadrant.
And Shannon gets to recover to hours and hours of her old friends, too!
Man, love is grand. But Technology may be even grander!
First, the bad news...We watch alot of TV. I mean alot. If we watch less than 50 hours per week, I would be surprised. So, needless to say, when something pops up like a surgery, it's a relief to know that our best friends will be with us when we get home (our shows, of course!).
After staying with Shannon for 14 hours at the hospital, it was nice to be comforted by Earl Hickey when I got home. And Gil Grissom tucked me in. And, I woke up to Captain Janeway saving the Delta Quadrant.
And Shannon gets to recover to hours and hours of her old friends, too!
Man, love is grand. But Technology may be even grander!
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Tough Moment
I generally try to be jovial in these posts, but right now my wife is in surgery.
It's nothing serious...although all surgery should be taken seriously. It's, as us men would say, "woman's stuff."
We've been married for 12 years, and neither one of us has had any surgery before, so this is a different sensation. The doc just told me it would take about an hour and a half.
I think it will be the longest hour and a half in my life.
But it gives me plenty of time to think about how much I love that lady, and how much God blessed me by giving her to me.
On a lighter note, though, about twenty seconds after they hooked her up to the happy juice, she was acting like she had had 10 shots of tequila.
Now, that was jovial!
It's nothing serious...although all surgery should be taken seriously. It's, as us men would say, "woman's stuff."
We've been married for 12 years, and neither one of us has had any surgery before, so this is a different sensation. The doc just told me it would take about an hour and a half.
I think it will be the longest hour and a half in my life.
But it gives me plenty of time to think about how much I love that lady, and how much God blessed me by giving her to me.
On a lighter note, though, about twenty seconds after they hooked her up to the happy juice, she was acting like she had had 10 shots of tequila.
Now, that was jovial!
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Reliving a Cereal Childhood
I was a pretty conservative little kid growing up.
I didn't climb trees or fences. I made my friends sit through the credits at the end of movies. I thought it was a good idea to leave for school early to see if there was anything the teacher needed help with before class. I loved classical music. And the only cereal I would eat was Wheaties.
Okay...maybe not so much conservative as boring and nerdy.
But in hindsight, the Wheaties thing was probably some type of catalyst for me. Sure, it probably started because of Bruce Jenner on the box. But something stuck.
Flash forward several decades. I'm in the cereal aisle at Walmart. I reach for the Wheaties, but something compells me to continue searching. Searching. Searching.
And there it is. Like a light in the dark.
Frankenberries.
With guilt, and perhaps a little shame, a grabbed the box.
At home, I placed the childish box on the top shelf, perhaps hoping that I would forget about my impetuous move. But, alas, I gave in to it's tempting call...
I opened the protective bag, and a "poof" of fruity, sugary heaven wafted towards my nose. My gosh...it smelled...wonderful!
The colorful pink and red morsels crashed to the bottom of my bowl. Then, in one fateful moment, I drowned them in a wash of fat free milk. Hopefully, the fat free would counteract the spike of sugar about to enter my system.
Then, the seductive dance began. I dipped my spoon, and out of the ceramic tomb arose the glistening breakfast treat. The light from the flourescent kitchen bulb hit just right, making it look like a work of art from DaVinci himself!
Then...then I ate it. One bite. Then the next. I couldn't stop. It was delicious! Is this what I missed during my childhood years? Would my life had differed had I plunged into the world of sugar ladened cereals instead of my old friend Wheatie?
I do not know.
But I do know this...I think I'll have another bowl.
I didn't climb trees or fences. I made my friends sit through the credits at the end of movies. I thought it was a good idea to leave for school early to see if there was anything the teacher needed help with before class. I loved classical music. And the only cereal I would eat was Wheaties.
Okay...maybe not so much conservative as boring and nerdy.
But in hindsight, the Wheaties thing was probably some type of catalyst for me. Sure, it probably started because of Bruce Jenner on the box. But something stuck.
Flash forward several decades. I'm in the cereal aisle at Walmart. I reach for the Wheaties, but something compells me to continue searching. Searching. Searching.
And there it is. Like a light in the dark.
Frankenberries.
With guilt, and perhaps a little shame, a grabbed the box.
At home, I placed the childish box on the top shelf, perhaps hoping that I would forget about my impetuous move. But, alas, I gave in to it's tempting call...
I opened the protective bag, and a "poof" of fruity, sugary heaven wafted towards my nose. My gosh...it smelled...wonderful!
The colorful pink and red morsels crashed to the bottom of my bowl. Then, in one fateful moment, I drowned them in a wash of fat free milk. Hopefully, the fat free would counteract the spike of sugar about to enter my system.
Then, the seductive dance began. I dipped my spoon, and out of the ceramic tomb arose the glistening breakfast treat. The light from the flourescent kitchen bulb hit just right, making it look like a work of art from DaVinci himself!
Then...then I ate it. One bite. Then the next. I couldn't stop. It was delicious! Is this what I missed during my childhood years? Would my life had differed had I plunged into the world of sugar ladened cereals instead of my old friend Wheatie?
I do not know.
But I do know this...I think I'll have another bowl.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
LifePointe Media Guy Ponders 42
Today, I am 42. Do you know what the signifigance of 42 is?
According to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, a race of vast pan-dimensional hyper-intelligent beings constructed the second greatest computer in all of time and space, Deep Thought, to calculate The Ultimate Answer to The Great Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. Distracted by a demarcation dispute with two philosophers, a "simple answer"is requested. After seven and a half million years of computing cycles, Deep Thought's answer is: forty two.
-"I think the problem is that the question was too broadly based..."
-"Forty two?!" yelled Loonquawl. "Is that all you've got to show for seven and a half million years' work?"
-"I checked it very thoroughly," said the computer, "and that quite definitely is the answer. I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you've never actually known what the question is."
Well, as I ponder turning 42 today, I believe that Deep Thought was correct...I don't really know what the question is.
Not to get too philisophical, but I seem to always be searching for the answers, but the question is what is really elusive.
Captain Picard (ALERT: Star Trek Reference Approaching) put it best in the movie Generations: "I fear I have more years behind me than in front of me."
How many of us spend it all searching, and none of it enjoying? Mary Kay (Yes, the Cosmetic Queen) once said that too many people die with their music still inside.
Wow. What a cool, and true, thought.
As the years whip by, it's hard not to feel regret for lost moments and opportunities. But, If the good Book (the Bible, not "The Big Bathroom Book of Jokes IV") taught us anything, it's that God absolutely does not want us to live in the past. Regret is futile, and harmful.
So, on this brisk Kentucky Fall day, I will celebrate the fact that humanity has been blessed to know me for the past 42 years. I will not ponder my failings and faults, and I will not feel old today. I will treat it like a re-birth!
That is, if a slice of quadruple chocolate fudge cake with caramel-coconut frosting doesn't kill me first!
According to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, a race of vast pan-dimensional hyper-intelligent beings constructed the second greatest computer in all of time and space, Deep Thought, to calculate The Ultimate Answer to The Great Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. Distracted by a demarcation dispute with two philosophers, a "simple answer"is requested. After seven and a half million years of computing cycles, Deep Thought's answer is: forty two.
-"I think the problem is that the question was too broadly based..."
-"Forty two?!" yelled Loonquawl. "Is that all you've got to show for seven and a half million years' work?"
-"I checked it very thoroughly," said the computer, "and that quite definitely is the answer. I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you've never actually known what the question is."
Well, as I ponder turning 42 today, I believe that Deep Thought was correct...I don't really know what the question is.
Not to get too philisophical, but I seem to always be searching for the answers, but the question is what is really elusive.
Captain Picard (ALERT: Star Trek Reference Approaching) put it best in the movie Generations: "I fear I have more years behind me than in front of me."
How many of us spend it all searching, and none of it enjoying? Mary Kay (Yes, the Cosmetic Queen) once said that too many people die with their music still inside.
Wow. What a cool, and true, thought.
As the years whip by, it's hard not to feel regret for lost moments and opportunities. But, If the good Book (the Bible, not "The Big Bathroom Book of Jokes IV") taught us anything, it's that God absolutely does not want us to live in the past. Regret is futile, and harmful.
So, on this brisk Kentucky Fall day, I will celebrate the fact that humanity has been blessed to know me for the past 42 years. I will not ponder my failings and faults, and I will not feel old today. I will treat it like a re-birth!
That is, if a slice of quadruple chocolate fudge cake with caramel-coconut frosting doesn't kill me first!
Monday, December 3, 2007
The Numbers are In!
The people have spoken...I will be a Speedo model in my next job! I'm shaving my legs as I write. Wait...I don't have to shave? Oh well...
Now, on a more morbid note, if it was your last meal, what would you choose? Let us know on the new poll to the right.
Now, on a more morbid note, if it was your last meal, what would you choose? Let us know on the new poll to the right.
Fightin' Irish, Bengals and other Disappointments
Yesterday was the frosting on a very bitter cake.
With hope all but waining, the Bengals only had to beat the dirty cheating Steelers in order to keep playoff hopes slimly alive. But, alas, one victory in my weekend was too much too ask. By the end of the pitiful game, the Steeler faithfull were waving their "terrible towels" in gleeful victory, and I was left pouting in my recliner, with a spaghetti sauce stain from earlier in the evening gracing my sweater.
Earlier in the evening, I was treated to the painful reminder that my Fighting Irish (of Notre Dame, not my upstarirs neighbor) had failed miserably this season as the teams for college bowl games were announced.
The night before, my Wright State Raiders (Dayton, Ohio's other team) lost a basketball game to Marist. To Marist.
The one great spot of the weekend was Saturday lunch at the new Chinese Buffet down the road. Lots of selection. Good Crag Rangoon.
But, man...I would love to know the thrill of victory instead of the taste of defeat. I periodically threaten to switch allegiances, but my friend Ross reminds me that a sports "turncoat" is worse than a traitor to your nation. Oh, well...
Then I thought about reading a book. Too many pages, though...
I suppose I can resurrect my annual motto: "Wait til next year!"
For now, I think I'll enjoy some more crab ragoon. And maybe, just maybe, a little General Tsao's...
With hope all but waining, the Bengals only had to beat the dirty cheating Steelers in order to keep playoff hopes slimly alive. But, alas, one victory in my weekend was too much too ask. By the end of the pitiful game, the Steeler faithfull were waving their "terrible towels" in gleeful victory, and I was left pouting in my recliner, with a spaghetti sauce stain from earlier in the evening gracing my sweater.
Earlier in the evening, I was treated to the painful reminder that my Fighting Irish (of Notre Dame, not my upstarirs neighbor) had failed miserably this season as the teams for college bowl games were announced.
The night before, my Wright State Raiders (Dayton, Ohio's other team) lost a basketball game to Marist. To Marist.
The one great spot of the weekend was Saturday lunch at the new Chinese Buffet down the road. Lots of selection. Good Crag Rangoon.
But, man...I would love to know the thrill of victory instead of the taste of defeat. I periodically threaten to switch allegiances, but my friend Ross reminds me that a sports "turncoat" is worse than a traitor to your nation. Oh, well...
Then I thought about reading a book. Too many pages, though...
I suppose I can resurrect my annual motto: "Wait til next year!"
For now, I think I'll enjoy some more crab ragoon. And maybe, just maybe, a little General Tsao's...
Saturday, December 1, 2007
LifePointe and U.S. Ain't So Bad, After all...
Anyone who claims Christianity has to many rigid rules is, with all due respect, nuts!
Has anyone been following the case in the Sudan of the British school teacher who let her class name their Teddy Bear mascott? The kids chose "Muhammed" (after a popular student in class), and subsequently, the teacher was arrested for "insulting" Muhammed, a major offense in those "advanced" countries.
She could have recieved 6 mths in prison and 40 lashes, but luckily only recieved 15 days and then will be deported. Unfortunatelty, the "enlightened" and forgiving people of The Sudan have been protesting outside the jail for days demanding her execution. Her execution over the naming of a Teddy Bear.
A little lesson on the Sudan. It has had militaristic, Islamic based governments since Britain left in 1956. There have been numerous conflicts within the borders over the past 4 decades, including the most recent one in 2003 which killed 400,000 in Darfur. The borders are so strongly guarded that humanitarian aid cannot get in. Khartoum is the capital of this largest African nation. They can't plant anything because of the eroded terrain and massive droughts, and they can't hunt because they have killed off every species native to the country. 400,000 citizens live with AIDS, and 23,000 die annually from it. Unemployment is over 18%, and over 40% live in poverty. Human trafficking is a huge industry in this country, with young boys kidnapped and taken to neighboring nations as camel jockeys (no joke), and young girls sold as sex slaves.
But right now, their biggest issue is with a British school teacher who let a group of 6 year olds name a teddy bear "Muhammed."
Makes Christianity look like a piece of cake, huh?
Has anyone been following the case in the Sudan of the British school teacher who let her class name their Teddy Bear mascott? The kids chose "Muhammed" (after a popular student in class), and subsequently, the teacher was arrested for "insulting" Muhammed, a major offense in those "advanced" countries.
She could have recieved 6 mths in prison and 40 lashes, but luckily only recieved 15 days and then will be deported. Unfortunatelty, the "enlightened" and forgiving people of The Sudan have been protesting outside the jail for days demanding her execution. Her execution over the naming of a Teddy Bear.
A little lesson on the Sudan. It has had militaristic, Islamic based governments since Britain left in 1956. There have been numerous conflicts within the borders over the past 4 decades, including the most recent one in 2003 which killed 400,000 in Darfur. The borders are so strongly guarded that humanitarian aid cannot get in. Khartoum is the capital of this largest African nation. They can't plant anything because of the eroded terrain and massive droughts, and they can't hunt because they have killed off every species native to the country. 400,000 citizens live with AIDS, and 23,000 die annually from it. Unemployment is over 18%, and over 40% live in poverty. Human trafficking is a huge industry in this country, with young boys kidnapped and taken to neighboring nations as camel jockeys (no joke), and young girls sold as sex slaves.
But right now, their biggest issue is with a British school teacher who let a group of 6 year olds name a teddy bear "Muhammed."
Makes Christianity look like a piece of cake, huh?
Friday, November 30, 2007
LifePointe Media Guy Mourns Evel
Evel Knievel was everything that was the 70's.
He was daring. He was fearless. He was foolish. He was the definition of excess.
Now, he is dead.
He was a symbol of what was great about this country. Danger. Fearlessness. All out showmanship.
He was what boys wanted to be.
He was what girls dreamed of.
He was Evel.
If you were born after 1970, you won't get it. But if you were blessed to be born before 1970, you understand.
The failed jump over Snake River Canyon.
The jump over the fountains at Caesars Palace (leaving him in a coma for 29 days).
And, the jump over 14 Greyhound Buses at King's Island.
He's in Guiness for breaking the most bones in the human body.
And, he's burned in our memories forever.
The best memory of all? When he accepted Christ with Robert Schuler. The Video Is posted to the right....please watch it.
Evel, we barely knew ya...but we knew enough. You will be missed.
He was daring. He was fearless. He was foolish. He was the definition of excess.
Now, he is dead.
He was a symbol of what was great about this country. Danger. Fearlessness. All out showmanship.
He was what boys wanted to be.
He was what girls dreamed of.
He was Evel.
If you were born after 1970, you won't get it. But if you were blessed to be born before 1970, you understand.
The failed jump over Snake River Canyon.
The jump over the fountains at Caesars Palace (leaving him in a coma for 29 days).
And, the jump over 14 Greyhound Buses at King's Island.
He's in Guiness for breaking the most bones in the human body.
And, he's burned in our memories forever.
The best memory of all? When he accepted Christ with Robert Schuler. The Video Is posted to the right....please watch it.
Evel, we barely knew ya...but we knew enough. You will be missed.
LifePointe: a LifeRaft
Judd Nelson, Speedos and Klingon Christmas wishes aside, I gotta tell you...LifePointe is becoming a big liferaft for me.
I always get in Jamey's stuff about taking up all my time with church junk...Sunday service, sunday baptisms, Starting Pointe, Lifegroups, other classes, Staff meetings and misc lunches. But the truth is, it's not the LifePointe junk that's the burden. It's all of the other crap in life.
There are very few people I know that walk up to me and say "My job makes me the happiest person in the world." And even less can say to me "You know, every single person I deal with on a daily basis brings complete joy to my life."
Then add the other stuff: bills, yardwork, traffic, rooting for crappy teams (i.e. Bengals, Reds, Notre Dame, etc), bad weather, medical 
problems, death, walking the dogs/cats/turtles/ferrets, etc., politics, the nightly news, and brussel sprouts.
problems, death, walking the dogs/cats/turtles/ferrets, etc., politics, the nightly news, and brussel sprouts.All those things (and more) combined really, truly stink! It comes down to one thing, and one thing only...
Life is hard. God is easy.
If it wasn't for the hours and hours of stuff every week Jamey packs into my schedule (including the occassional book he makes me read), I'd probably be looking for a cliff to jump off of. Thank "You Know Who" for LifePointe.
How do people that don't spend all the time they can volunteering, serving, being in Lifegroups and fellowshipping with everyone else at LifePointe, survive? I truly don't mean for this to be a commercial for Louisville's coolest church...but it is. Live with it!
Now, pardon me while I practice pushing the spacebar for this week's service.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
LifePointe Media Guy May Have New Job!
Well, so far, the poll shows that you people believe I should become a Speedo Model. It's the obvious choice...everyone knows how much I love beach volleyball and sand between my toes.
Above are the three choices of Speedo swimwear that I am deciding upon should that be the winning job.
I believe any of the above choices are a win-win for all involved!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Judd and Stuff....an d LifePointe?
The year was 1985. LifePointe Church Wasn't Even a Dream.
I belonged to a generation that was just coming into it's own. Disco was dead and buried. The Glam bands and pop idols of the 80's were now in control of the air waves. Rumors had it that our massive tape collections were going to be replaced by mini-records called cd's (fat chance!). New Coke was p***ing people off. Member's Only was the jacket to wear. I had a new collection of OP clothes (Ocean Pacific). Crockett and Tubbs were shuttin' down the bad dudes. And in movies like the Breakfast Club and 
St. Elmo's Fire, Judd Nelson was showing us that our unchanneled angst could be put to good use by stickin' it to the man.
St. Elmo's Fire, Judd Nelson was showing us that our unchanneled angst could be put to good use by stickin' it to the man.Why Judd Nelson today? Well I just noticed he turned 48 today. And why does that mean anything to me?
I was 20 years old in '85. Judd was cool (yet creepy at the same time). He was that loner with an attitude. That "Ends Justifies The Means" guy. That "I Can Be A Jerk And Still Get The Babes" guy. He was that guy. And I wanted to be him for a brief time during that year.
Flash forward 22 years. I see his birthday announcement and suddenly realize "Holy Cow! He's 48 years old! In 6 days, I'll be 42! Our 20-something angst has turned into near middle-aged apathy! Aaaaaaarrrggghhhh! (A Charlie Brown reference).
It's just one of those moments when you're own mortality slaps you in the face. Then backhands you, and re-slaps you. Then sucker punches you in the gut, finishing off with a flying roundhouse.
They say you're only as old as you feel. But then they say "Act your age." I'm so confused! Which one is it?!?
Well Judd...I don't know how old you feel. And, I don't know if you're acting your age. However, i do know this: I was doing okay until I saw it was your Birthday.
Thanks alot, Judd.
Now, excuse me while I go to my room to listen to my mix tape of Flock Of Seagulls love ballads. Alone.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
A Klingon Christmas Message From Kang....
nuqneH . qaStaH nuq? qaleghneS. tlhIngan Hol Dajatlh'e'?
Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam! ghIj qet jaghmeyjaj.
pot'hbe'chug yay qatlh p"eghlu'. Duj HvoqtaH. Cha Jamey Toh'gah-nah lo Pre'tOk.
DaHjajaj QaQ Daghajjaj. toDwI'maj qoSyItIvqu'.
(Man...I need to dork it down a few notches!)
Monday, November 26, 2007
30 Days and Out
So some people get bored.
Apparently, when a person changes jobs avery 30 days or so, there seems to be a "stigma" attached to him. Some would say he has A.D.D. Others would say he has no committment. Still others say "He must just suck at everything!"
I would say " Hey...maybe this person just happens to be so brilliant that he gets everything he can out of a particular job in 30 days, and feels like the mission is accomplished!"
Truth is, who really knows why a new job appears on this particular resume every month? It could be any of a dozen different reasons. In fact, one of the greatest icons of the 50's/60's based his greatness on job jumping ("The Great Impostor").
The only thing that really hurts is when the staff of a certain church (get the Pointe?) runs a pool on what day of the month will be his last day on the job. Well, as long as the winner tithes the winnings, I guess it's okay.
Now, I have to go. I've got a date with Monster.com.
Apparently, when a person changes jobs avery 30 days or so, there seems to be a "stigma" attached to him. Some would say he has A.D.D. Others would say he has no committment. Still others say "He must just suck at everything!"
I would say " Hey...maybe this person just happens to be so brilliant that he gets everything he can out of a particular job in 30 days, and feels like the mission is accomplished!"
Truth is, who really knows why a new job appears on this particular resume every month? It could be any of a dozen different reasons. In fact, one of the greatest icons of the 50's/60's based his greatness on job jumping ("The Great Impostor").
The only thing that really hurts is when the staff of a certain church (get the Pointe?) runs a pool on what day of the month will be his last day on the job. Well, as long as the winner tithes the winnings, I guess it's okay.
Now, I have to go. I've got a date with Monster.com.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Just Who Is the Biigest Loser?
I just got finished watching the latest episode of this seasons "The Biggest Loser."
I must admit, it is an intriguing show. There's drama, tears, yelling, tears, cheering, tears, heartbreak, tears, sweat, tears....a whole bunch of tears.
Man, these people cry alot!
Now, please don't misunderstand. I, more than anyone, can understand and sympathize with the plight of the overweight. I mean, I've had a weight problem all my life! My doctor said it's because I swallow alot of aggression...along with a lot of pizza! (Okay, that's my homage to John Candy in Stripes).
I can understand why they cry on the first episode. They can't believe how far they let their bodies go.
I know why they cry during he challenges. The human drama is the most intense.
I know why they cry at weigh ins...overwhelming joy.
But what I think is hilarious is when someone, usually a woman (sorry girls...truth hurts!), starts to strike deals and conive with others to destroy someone else's chances at staying in the Biggest Loser camp, and then when they achieve their goal of voting that person off, she starts to bawl like a baby! That is hilarious!
All of that aside, it is a great show. Although, one thing has always bugged me a liitle bit about reality programs: We end up watching others achieve the goals and dreams we desire. It's great if watching the show inspires us. We all need inspiration. But it's bad when you just watch life instead of participating.
Holy cow! That statement comes from a guy who has watched somewhere around 18 billion hours of TV, and for the first five years of his life thought Captain Kirk was his real father.
Well, times change, and people grow.
Now, I must depart. Denny Crain awaits!
I must admit, it is an intriguing show. There's drama, tears, yelling, tears, cheering, tears, heartbreak, tears, sweat, tears....a whole bunch of tears.
Man, these people cry alot!
Now, please don't misunderstand. I, more than anyone, can understand and sympathize with the plight of the overweight. I mean, I've had a weight problem all my life! My doctor said it's because I swallow alot of aggression...along with a lot of pizza! (Okay, that's my homage to John Candy in Stripes).
I can understand why they cry on the first episode. They can't believe how far they let their bodies go.
I know why they cry during he challenges. The human drama is the most intense.
I know why they cry at weigh ins...overwhelming joy.
But what I think is hilarious is when someone, usually a woman (sorry girls...truth hurts!), starts to strike deals and conive with others to destroy someone else's chances at staying in the Biggest Loser camp, and then when they achieve their goal of voting that person off, she starts to bawl like a baby! That is hilarious!
All of that aside, it is a great show. Although, one thing has always bugged me a liitle bit about reality programs: We end up watching others achieve the goals and dreams we desire. It's great if watching the show inspires us. We all need inspiration. But it's bad when you just watch life instead of participating.
Holy cow! That statement comes from a guy who has watched somewhere around 18 billion hours of TV, and for the first five years of his life thought Captain Kirk was his real father.
Well, times change, and people grow.
Now, I must depart. Denny Crain awaits!
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Aint Love Grand!
Just came back from a wedding, and I of course have an observation.
First of all, it took me back to our wedding day 12 years ago. I was amazed that after months of tedious planning, the day just whipped by, and I honestly don't have much of a memory of it!
I mean, I remember being at the church. I remember the priest forgetting to have me kiss the bride (I still hear about that one!). I remember the "Chicken Dance". Yes, the Chicken Dance, the one thing my lovely bride had asked us not to have, and there it was. But other than those things, not so much.
That's why weddings are interesting times to observe the Bride and Groom.
There's a lot of strained smiling going on. Alot of shaking hands, hugging and laughing at akward jokes told in mixed company. And, alot of the usual comments..."The cake is beautiful!" "The Groom cleans up nice!" And, "Hey, (fill in the name), now it's your turn to get hitched!"
But through it all, I notice one thing. The bride and groom are always at their happiest when they get the rare moment to be alone...even for a second...and enjoy each other.
Aint love grand!
First of all, it took me back to our wedding day 12 years ago. I was amazed that after months of tedious planning, the day just whipped by, and I honestly don't have much of a memory of it!
I mean, I remember being at the church. I remember the priest forgetting to have me kiss the bride (I still hear about that one!). I remember the "Chicken Dance". Yes, the Chicken Dance, the one thing my lovely bride had asked us not to have, and there it was. But other than those things, not so much.
That's why weddings are interesting times to observe the Bride and Groom.
There's a lot of strained smiling going on. Alot of shaking hands, hugging and laughing at akward jokes told in mixed company. And, alot of the usual comments..."The cake is beautiful!" "The Groom cleans up nice!" And, "Hey, (fill in the name), now it's your turn to get hitched!"
But through it all, I notice one thing. The bride and groom are always at their happiest when they get the rare moment to be alone...even for a second...and enjoy each other.
Aint love grand!
Monday, October 1, 2007
The Stuff of Character
Flashback 30 years....
"Son, I know it's high noon and 99 degrees. I know it's a push mower, and the yard hasn't been cut for three weeks. But, it needs to be done...and, it'll build character."
Why...oh why...is it that when there's something you have to do that really, really sucks, it allegedly "builds character?"
The only reason I'm having this flashback to my innocuous, if not painful, childhood (it was only painful because the bullies wouldn't stop beating me sensless when I refused to stop speaking in Klingon) is because of this past weekend.
It's funny how a totally unrelated event can bring an old feeling to the surface.
As I watched my good friend Ross lament at the impending loss of his Oklahoma Sooners, one phrase popped to mind. I wanted to look Ross in the eye as he suffered through the humiliation of having potential championship dreams dashed to pieces and say,"Ross, it'll be okay. At least it will build character."
That was it. At that very instant in time, I had become my Dad.
I actually realized the power of that simple statement :"It'll build character." It's only 3 (or 4) words, but it carries an awesome reponsibility. Never have 3 or 4 words meant so much.
To the man who says it, it means "Hah! Now you are as miserable as I!"
To the man who hears it, it means: "Where's the nearest noose."
Well, I was able to break that cycle before it even began. I will not become one of the countless millions of 70's era men that have tossed that statement around with careless abandon. No, I will be a thoughtful friend, and lament with my fellow sportsfans and human beings.
In the meantime, I'm going to finish watching the Bengals on Monday Night Football. It's brutal. But, hey...at least it builds character.
"Son, I know it's high noon and 99 degrees. I know it's a push mower, and the yard hasn't been cut for three weeks. But, it needs to be done...and, it'll build character."
Why...oh why...is it that when there's something you have to do that really, really sucks, it allegedly "builds character?"
The only reason I'm having this flashback to my innocuous, if not painful, childhood (it was only painful because the bullies wouldn't stop beating me sensless when I refused to stop speaking in Klingon) is because of this past weekend.
It's funny how a totally unrelated event can bring an old feeling to the surface.
As I watched my good friend Ross lament at the impending loss of his Oklahoma Sooners, one phrase popped to mind. I wanted to look Ross in the eye as he suffered through the humiliation of having potential championship dreams dashed to pieces and say,"Ross, it'll be okay. At least it will build character."
That was it. At that very instant in time, I had become my Dad.
I actually realized the power of that simple statement :"It'll build character." It's only 3 (or 4) words, but it carries an awesome reponsibility. Never have 3 or 4 words meant so much.
To the man who says it, it means "Hah! Now you are as miserable as I!"
To the man who hears it, it means: "Where's the nearest noose."
Well, I was able to break that cycle before it even began. I will not become one of the countless millions of 70's era men that have tossed that statement around with careless abandon. No, I will be a thoughtful friend, and lament with my fellow sportsfans and human beings.
In the meantime, I'm going to finish watching the Bengals on Monday Night Football. It's brutal. But, hey...at least it builds character.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Thumbs Up...or down.
Well, I'm typing this without the use of my thumbs.
Actually, the week started off great. My wife and I began a new program we developed called "Living 180." It encompasses diet, finances and everything in order to turn our lives around. Our site is myspace.com/living180. Check it out!
A few days ago I was doing a very normal grooming task. i was cutting my nails. My thumbnail was hanging on for dear life, so I yanked it out. Apparently, yanking is not something a thumb likes. Three days later, a massive infection.
I, like alot of men, felt the infection would take care of itself. What can I say...me and the Docs don't mix well. My wife, however, had other plans for me this morning when she woke up and saw my thumb, twice it's normal size. Off to Urgent care we went.
Remember the old days when doctors used to say things like "Don't worry, this won't hurt a bit"? My doctor started off by saying "Man, you're not gonna like this. This is gonna hurt!"
And it went downhill from there.
Flash forward to lunch. I'm cutting an apple. But all our knives are dirty. Instead of washing one, I use a bread knife. It slips, and I cut the other thumb. Ouch.
I am a moron.
That being said...it could be worse. As I'm writing this, Syracuse threw a 79 yard pass for a touchdown to start the game off with Louisville. I could be a Cards fan right now.
Oh wait. It is worse. I'm a Notre Dame fan.
Actually, the week started off great. My wife and I began a new program we developed called "Living 180." It encompasses diet, finances and everything in order to turn our lives around. Our site is myspace.com/living180. Check it out!
A few days ago I was doing a very normal grooming task. i was cutting my nails. My thumbnail was hanging on for dear life, so I yanked it out. Apparently, yanking is not something a thumb likes. Three days later, a massive infection.
I, like alot of men, felt the infection would take care of itself. What can I say...me and the Docs don't mix well. My wife, however, had other plans for me this morning when she woke up and saw my thumb, twice it's normal size. Off to Urgent care we went.
Remember the old days when doctors used to say things like "Don't worry, this won't hurt a bit"? My doctor started off by saying "Man, you're not gonna like this. This is gonna hurt!"
And it went downhill from there.
Flash forward to lunch. I'm cutting an apple. But all our knives are dirty. Instead of washing one, I use a bread knife. It slips, and I cut the other thumb. Ouch.
I am a moron.
That being said...it could be worse. As I'm writing this, Syracuse threw a 79 yard pass for a touchdown to start the game off with Louisville. I could be a Cards fan right now.
Oh wait. It is worse. I'm a Notre Dame fan.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Dirty Rotten Cheaters!
Wow! Some big time cheatin' goin' on in the past week!
The Patriots get nailed for video taping Jets signals...$750,000 in total fines.
Team McLaren in F1 Racing gets caught with secret info on opponents cars...total fines of $100,000,000. Yes, that's $100 million!
OJ getting caught in a "secret sting operation" to retrieving his stuff...total fine...our dignity for having to watch his crap on tv again.
Gotta tell ya...I love sports as much as the next guy. Yes, even if the next guy is Ross and his wall-Lion. However, I am in awe that $100,750,000 in fines have been levied against only two organizations. Am I concerned because of the stupid amounts of cash that needlesly flows through the sports world? Is it because we,as fans, are following these stories like our lives depended on it? Or, is it because i am concerned about the well being of the victims in the cases?
No. None of the above.
$100 million!!??! Man, my hardest decision today was if I should buy a name brand can of peas and use a coupon, or go with the Kroger brand.
$100 million???!!!? I'm wearin' underwear that's 8 years old because I can't justify the rising cost of woven cotton!
$100 million?!!? My dogs eat food that's $3.99 for a 50lb bag because I believe it's the same as Iams...a dog food conspiracy that goes all the way to the top!
There it is. I just can't imagine having $100 million...let alone having $100 million to waste on a fine.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to find that coupon that gets me a $4.99 haircut at Great Clips.
The Patriots get nailed for video taping Jets signals...$750,000 in total fines.
Team McLaren in F1 Racing gets caught with secret info on opponents cars...total fines of $100,000,000. Yes, that's $100 million!
OJ getting caught in a "secret sting operation" to retrieving his stuff...total fine...our dignity for having to watch his crap on tv again.
Gotta tell ya...I love sports as much as the next guy. Yes, even if the next guy is Ross and his wall-Lion. However, I am in awe that $100,750,000 in fines have been levied against only two organizations. Am I concerned because of the stupid amounts of cash that needlesly flows through the sports world? Is it because we,as fans, are following these stories like our lives depended on it? Or, is it because i am concerned about the well being of the victims in the cases?
No. None of the above.
$100 million!!??! Man, my hardest decision today was if I should buy a name brand can of peas and use a coupon, or go with the Kroger brand.
$100 million???!!!? I'm wearin' underwear that's 8 years old because I can't justify the rising cost of woven cotton!
$100 million?!!? My dogs eat food that's $3.99 for a 50lb bag because I believe it's the same as Iams...a dog food conspiracy that goes all the way to the top!
There it is. I just can't imagine having $100 million...let alone having $100 million to waste on a fine.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to find that coupon that gets me a $4.99 haircut at Great Clips.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
That's interesting
Not much to talk about today, however I have found an interesting fact..,
According to Lexus Nexus, this week's most mentioned headline had to do with...not the anniversary of 911. Not the announcement by our general in Iraq. Not escalating oil prices. Not anything that seems remotely important.
Our #1 headline so far this week has been about: Brittany's performance at the Video Music Awards.
I can't even add to that.
According to Lexus Nexus, this week's most mentioned headline had to do with...not the anniversary of 911. Not the announcement by our general in Iraq. Not escalating oil prices. Not anything that seems remotely important.
Our #1 headline so far this week has been about: Brittany's performance at the Video Music Awards.
I can't even add to that.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Say It Ain't So, Joe!
Well, Political Correctness has struck once again. And, once again, it's at an icon that we have held sacred for 35 years...G.I. Joe.
Paramount Pictures is getting ready to start production on the new G.I. Joe movie. That's great, because we all know that G.I. Joe is an American Hero, and now more than ever, We need American Heroes!
Alas, Paramount's accountants don't see it that way. G.I. Joe (standing for Government Issue), will no longer be an American soldier. They money counters at the studio felt that would not make it a big enough draw to international audiences. Instead, Joe will be part of a global task force. G.I. Joe will now stand for "Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity."
Aaawww, crap. They had to ruin a good thing. What's next? Will they take away Joe's Kung Fu Grip and replace it with, say, the ability to speak French and Retreat at will?
Maybe he'll also have the uncanny ability to seek out and correct environmental hazards worldwide that may lead to the acceleration of global warming. One could only hope...
All I know is this: Almost everything from my childhood has been updated to fit a politically correct world, except for two things. As long as they never tell me that too much sugar, or too much TV is bad for me, then I guess I can survive.
Paramount Pictures is getting ready to start production on the new G.I. Joe movie. That's great, because we all know that G.I. Joe is an American Hero, and now more than ever, We need American Heroes!
Alas, Paramount's accountants don't see it that way. G.I. Joe (standing for Government Issue), will no longer be an American soldier. They money counters at the studio felt that would not make it a big enough draw to international audiences. Instead, Joe will be part of a global task force. G.I. Joe will now stand for "Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity."
Aaawww, crap. They had to ruin a good thing. What's next? Will they take away Joe's Kung Fu Grip and replace it with, say, the ability to speak French and Retreat at will?
Maybe he'll also have the uncanny ability to seek out and correct environmental hazards worldwide that may lead to the acceleration of global warming. One could only hope...
All I know is this: Almost everything from my childhood has been updated to fit a politically correct world, except for two things. As long as they never tell me that too much sugar, or too much TV is bad for me, then I guess I can survive.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Bored and Dangerous
When I'm bored, a couple of JPEGS, some editing equipment and a microphone is a dangerous thing. I think back to my days at Carroll High School in Dayton Ohio, and I remember the teachers all saying what great potential I had...that I could do anything I wanted.
To those teachers, I dedicate these two achievements.
Mr. Spielberg, I apologize.
To those teachers, I dedicate these two achievements.
Mr. Spielberg, I apologize.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Just Like Crack...
Well, like most every other new fad, I've finally fallen in line about 3 years to late. I have finally signed up for MySpace.
I've always fought that urge before, because I thought it was only for the hip, or suedo-hip, crowd.
Well, I think I'm still right about that, however, a bad thing has happened: I seem to have gotten myself hooked on the dang thing.
First thing I do in the morning is see if someone added me as a friend.
Every 20 minutes at work, I switch the screen over to Myspace to see if someone added me as a friend.
The last thing I do at night is look to see if someone has added me as a friend.
As I see it, I've got one of two really bad issues: I'm either addicted, like a crack addict, to MySpace, or, I've got some real friend issues.
I don't know which it is, but I have to go check if someone added me as a friend!
I've always fought that urge before, because I thought it was only for the hip, or suedo-hip, crowd.
Well, I think I'm still right about that, however, a bad thing has happened: I seem to have gotten myself hooked on the dang thing.
First thing I do in the morning is see if someone added me as a friend.
Every 20 minutes at work, I switch the screen over to Myspace to see if someone added me as a friend.
The last thing I do at night is look to see if someone has added me as a friend.
As I see it, I've got one of two really bad issues: I'm either addicted, like a crack addict, to MySpace, or, I've got some real friend issues.
I don't know which it is, but I have to go check if someone added me as a friend!
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
What To Talk About...
I dont know what topic to breach today. Let's review some events from the past week...
I could talk about how people ignore a woman who's car won't start...even the woman parked next to her wouldn't take 5 minutes to give her a jump.
I could talk about about the moron who locked his only set of keys in the car, and spent the next 2 solid hours opening it with nothing but 3 rocks, a wedge of mulch and half a coat hanger (kinda like McGiver!).
I could talk about a boy and his first excruciating back injury in 41 years on planet Earth.
I could talk about having to buy a battery for a car, and finding out the only battery the car will take costs $70.
I could talk about how every Cardinal fan thinks Louisville should be ranked in the top 2 in the nation, even though they have a new coach and only one great season under their belts.
I could talk about biting down on a Boston Baked Bean and breaking a tooth...one of the few left intact.
I could talk about not being able to find a single pair of tube socks without a hole in the toes.
I could talk about the fact that withdrawing $20 from a "non-network" ATM costs $4.
Or, I could talk about how a certain company has an automatic sprinkler system that pops on in the middle of the day, just when a certain employee is standing smack dab in the center of the lawn...
Personally, I like the Mcgiver thing.
How did your week go?
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Another Apology!
Sorry Folks!
I have been away from the blog for awhile dealin' with some personal junk, but now I'm back! I will make a concerted effort to give you the 3 or 4 weekly fresh posts that you crave!
Tomorrow's message is on Everyday Heroes...which is good, because I'm wearing my Spiderman Underoos as I'm writing this!
I have been away from the blog for awhile dealin' with some personal junk, but now I'm back! I will make a concerted effort to give you the 3 or 4 weekly fresh posts that you crave!
Tomorrow's message is on Everyday Heroes...which is good, because I'm wearing my Spiderman Underoos as I'm writing this!
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Would You Like Juice?
War in Iraq. Starving in Africa. Out of control gas prices.
With all of these world problems, why is it that I can only focus on one thing...Barry Bonds breaking the home run record?
As I watched him coming to the plate last night, preparing to hit the shot that would forever put him in the record books (756*), all I could hope for was one thing: A stray meteor that has been orbiting our solar system for millenia would break free of it's normal path, careening wildly towards the Earth, on a direct path towards San Fransisco, and just as the first pitch to Bonds approached the plate, the galactic rock would land on his foot, thus ending his evening, and perhaps career, and keep the home run record from being broken by such a jerk.
Is that a Christian attitude? Probably not. But I still couldn't help but smile at the thought of him looking up as the meteor approached and he thinking "Son of a...!"
I don't think I care as much about the alleged (alleged...HA!) steroid use. You still have to swing the bat and connect with the ball, which is very difficult at the major league level. I care more about the fact that this guy is a jerk! In fact, the only human moment I've ever seen Bonds in was last night when he talked about his dad (Bobby Bonds, a baseball great). I believe that for the most part, Bobby would be ashamed of his son's behavior over the last 23 years.
Some of it is jealousy, too. It's hard to always believe that doing the right things will be rewarded when jerks and thieves and cheats seem to get all of the riches (although, earthly reward is not our concern).
One good note, though...Barry's family is very proud of him, and it was nice to see his kids cheer him on as he rounded the bases into history. After all, isn't that what baseball is truly about...a time for father's and sons to be together?
With all of these world problems, why is it that I can only focus on one thing...Barry Bonds breaking the home run record?
As I watched him coming to the plate last night, preparing to hit the shot that would forever put him in the record books (756*), all I could hope for was one thing: A stray meteor that has been orbiting our solar system for millenia would break free of it's normal path, careening wildly towards the Earth, on a direct path towards San Fransisco, and just as the first pitch to Bonds approached the plate, the galactic rock would land on his foot, thus ending his evening, and perhaps career, and keep the home run record from being broken by such a jerk.
Is that a Christian attitude? Probably not. But I still couldn't help but smile at the thought of him looking up as the meteor approached and he thinking "Son of a...!"
I don't think I care as much about the alleged (alleged...HA!) steroid use. You still have to swing the bat and connect with the ball, which is very difficult at the major league level. I care more about the fact that this guy is a jerk! In fact, the only human moment I've ever seen Bonds in was last night when he talked about his dad (Bobby Bonds, a baseball great). I believe that for the most part, Bobby would be ashamed of his son's behavior over the last 23 years.
Some of it is jealousy, too. It's hard to always believe that doing the right things will be rewarded when jerks and thieves and cheats seem to get all of the riches (although, earthly reward is not our concern).
One good note, though...Barry's family is very proud of him, and it was nice to see his kids cheer him on as he rounded the bases into history. After all, isn't that what baseball is truly about...a time for father's and sons to be together?
Friday, July 20, 2007
Forgiveness
Just preparing for the visual side of ross' message on forgiveness. Once again, I slip gently into a reflective mood...
It aint easy to forgive...ironically ( a reference to last week's message), it's easier to hold a grudge. But I'm gonna jump the gun on Sunday, and start for givin now. Here is my list of people I want to forgive...
-NBC, for cancelling Star Trek in 1969.
-Dad, for making me tell my high school Coach I wanted in...not something coaches want to hear in the middle of a game.
-Denny's, for doing away with free birthday dinners.
-JK Rowling, for turning my wife into an even more obsessive reader.
-Jamey, for making me read books that don't include the phrases "Beam me up,", or 'Good grief, Charlie Brown."
-Bill Clinton, for...well, you know! Someone's got to forgive him!
-Jerry, my dog, for eating a turkey sandwich I made (I've been holding that grudge for 4 years).
You know, this list just goes on and on. Let's just say, if you're reading this and you "jacked" me up in some way...I forgive you!
Except, I may take that NBC one back...it still hurts.
It aint easy to forgive...ironically ( a reference to last week's message), it's easier to hold a grudge. But I'm gonna jump the gun on Sunday, and start for givin now. Here is my list of people I want to forgive...
-NBC, for cancelling Star Trek in 1969.
-Dad, for making me tell my high school Coach I wanted in...not something coaches want to hear in the middle of a game.
-Denny's, for doing away with free birthday dinners.
-JK Rowling, for turning my wife into an even more obsessive reader.
-Jamey, for making me read books that don't include the phrases "Beam me up,", or 'Good grief, Charlie Brown."
-Bill Clinton, for...well, you know! Someone's got to forgive him!
-Jerry, my dog, for eating a turkey sandwich I made (I've been holding that grudge for 4 years).
You know, this list just goes on and on. Let's just say, if you're reading this and you "jacked" me up in some way...I forgive you!
Except, I may take that NBC one back...it still hurts.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
What Is This World Coming To?
You know...I can take increased gas prices. The ever widening gap between political parties is something i can live with. Almost every sports team I follow stinks to the highest reaches of heaven (pardon the expression), and I'm okay with that.
But now, it's gone too far.
I just read this headline:FDA: Castleberry's, Austex and Kroger Brands Chili Sauces Linked to Paralyzing Botulism.
Now they've screwed with something I love...the delicious canned chili sauces I use to cover a naked, vulnerable hot dog. First it was saccharin causes cancer, now this! Must everything I love try to kill me? I mean, if it was a virus that would just give me the flu, I could handle that. Or one that produced a nervous twitch, yes. But paralyzing botulism?
Well, now wait a minute...is paralyzing all that bad? And what's a little botulism amongst friends?
Pass the can opener and nuke the dogs...I'm goin' in!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Another Life Lesson
Why is it that when something doesn't go your way, people (usually our fathers), tell us that it builds character? Why do all the things that suck build character?
For once, I'd like to win a million dollars, and have my dad come up to me and say, "Way to go, Son. That's gonna build character!" Or have Publishers Clearinghouse knock on my door and say,"Mr. Whigham, we have a check for 100,000 character-building dollars for you!"
I just completed a 4 week script writing contest as some of you know. It was pretty grueling! Alot of late nights, alot of sweating out the final minutes before the weekly finalists were announced. Hard work!And today, the final 5 finalists were announced...I was not one of them.
At the moment of truth, I heard my dad standing over my shoulder saying, "Way to build character, Son!"
Now, it wasn't all bad. It did help me to rekindle a dream, and i did meet some great people during the event (I hope we stay in touch!). But after 41 years, I would like to build character by winning something!
I would like to see if I could keep from becoming a jerk if I won a million bucks. I would like to see if I could handle fame and or fortune. I'd like to see how I could handle a posse, entourage and groupies...
Oh well...right now, I guess, I'm happy to have a posse of one...my wife. By the way...where is she? I haven't seen her for about four weeks?
For once, I'd like to win a million dollars, and have my dad come up to me and say, "Way to go, Son. That's gonna build character!" Or have Publishers Clearinghouse knock on my door and say,"Mr. Whigham, we have a check for 100,000 character-building dollars for you!"
I just completed a 4 week script writing contest as some of you know. It was pretty grueling! Alot of late nights, alot of sweating out the final minutes before the weekly finalists were announced. Hard work!And today, the final 5 finalists were announced...I was not one of them.
At the moment of truth, I heard my dad standing over my shoulder saying, "Way to build character, Son!"
Now, it wasn't all bad. It did help me to rekindle a dream, and i did meet some great people during the event (I hope we stay in touch!). But after 41 years, I would like to build character by winning something!
I would like to see if I could keep from becoming a jerk if I won a million bucks. I would like to see if I could handle fame and or fortune. I'd like to see how I could handle a posse, entourage and groupies...
Oh well...right now, I guess, I'm happy to have a posse of one...my wife. By the way...where is she? I haven't seen her for about four weeks?
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Apologies, then biz as usual...
I must apologize. It has been over a week since I last made an entry. While some may find that appealing, I find it appalling. I am sorry, and I am now back on schedule.
Alot has happened in the news since my last entry. The steroid related murder suicide of a wrestler and his family. The NCAA smackdown of a major football program (sorry Ross). The 10,000th loss of a MLB team (sorry Ross...again). The DOW hitting 14,000 for the frst time ever (yeah Capitalism!).
All I know is this. During a week that had so much happening, so many different things in the news...a week when I had questions that needed to be answered... I was reminded of something that we all forget on a daily basis: The opportunity to spread the word can be found in the most unlikely places. I won't go into detail...I don't want to embarass the person...but just remember this: When you least expect it, an opportunity will arise to let someone know why they are on this planet, and that they are loved.
To quote Ralph Waldo Emmerson:
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”
I know. A little serious for Whigham. Deal with it.
Alot has happened in the news since my last entry. The steroid related murder suicide of a wrestler and his family. The NCAA smackdown of a major football program (sorry Ross). The 10,000th loss of a MLB team (sorry Ross...again). The DOW hitting 14,000 for the frst time ever (yeah Capitalism!).
All I know is this. During a week that had so much happening, so many different things in the news...a week when I had questions that needed to be answered... I was reminded of something that we all forget on a daily basis: The opportunity to spread the word can be found in the most unlikely places. I won't go into detail...I don't want to embarass the person...but just remember this: When you least expect it, an opportunity will arise to let someone know why they are on this planet, and that they are loved.
To quote Ralph Waldo Emmerson:
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”
I know. A little serious for Whigham. Deal with it.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
It'll Come Back...
In high school, one of my favorite people was our football coach/health teacher, Coach Spoerl. Coach would wear ties that were wider than his body (remember, this was the early 80's). His reply to our muffled laughs was always the same: "I bought my ties in the 50's, and every 8 or 9 years they keep comin' back in style. Never throw anything away...they always come back."
I generally don't get rid of clothes. I'd like to say it's due to Coach's sage advice...however, I'm sure it's do more to my cheapness. There are many times when my entire outfit on any given day was bought for $20 or less...including shoes! (Much to the chagrin of Jamey).
Flash forward 25 years. I'm sitting in a movie theater yesterday, watching the new movie Transformers. It was cool! Action, things gettin' blowed up, pretty women, and some laughs. it had it all! Then, as if i was in the flashback sequence of a Kung Fu episode, I heard my menor from the past say, "Don't throw things away...they always come back!"
Man! He was right! I was watching Transformer shows 25 years ago! All things do go round! That this movie is as popular as it is tells me several things: 1) People love retro, 2) I grew up in the coolest era in history, 3) Cars that turn into robots and destroy stuff are awesome!
There is one drawback to everything coming back: Three's Company The Movie.
I generally don't get rid of clothes. I'd like to say it's due to Coach's sage advice...however, I'm sure it's do more to my cheapness. There are many times when my entire outfit on any given day was bought for $20 or less...including shoes! (Much to the chagrin of Jamey).
Flash forward 25 years. I'm sitting in a movie theater yesterday, watching the new movie Transformers. It was cool! Action, things gettin' blowed up, pretty women, and some laughs. it had it all! Then, as if i was in the flashback sequence of a Kung Fu episode, I heard my menor from the past say, "Don't throw things away...they always come back!"
Man! He was right! I was watching Transformer shows 25 years ago! All things do go round! That this movie is as popular as it is tells me several things: 1) People love retro, 2) I grew up in the coolest era in history, 3) Cars that turn into robots and destroy stuff are awesome!
There is one drawback to everything coming back: Three's Company The Movie.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Happy 4th!
Happy July 4th!
I would just like for everyone, on this day, to think about how cool it is to live in this country. And, don't forget to thank the men and women for our freedom...the soldiers and vets!
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Capitalism Rules!
I love Capitalism!
There. I said it. I believe that anyone should be able to make as much money as they possibly can (as long as it's not made in an ill-gotten fashion). I love money! Ithink it's a cool thing to have...in fact, to quote Zig Zigler, "Money ain't everything, but it's right up there with oxygen!"
My only problem...I ain't got none!
But that's okay. We're in America, and I believe anyone in this nation can overcome any obstacle. It's the greatest nation in the world!
Why this topic? Well, I just saw a headline that said Bill Gates has just been knocked out of first place on the world's richest person list. And guess what? I felt sorry for him. Yes, you heard right. He has my pity.
Bill's (and I think I can call him Bill) estimated worth is only $59 billion dolloars. The new 1st place winner is at $67 billion. My initial reaction is: What can I do to help Bill get back in 1st?
Why the fervor for Bill's title? The new guy is not American. I guess my strong national pride wants us to have the richest dude! Is that weird? We're #1!
Maybe if I go out and buy the update for Windows might help put Bill back on top. But, that takes me back to my originial issue with money...I ain't got none!
Monday, July 2, 2007
Why...?
As I compete furiously for a Star Trek-based contest, one glaring question pops into my head: Why does liking Star Trek make me a nerd?
For as long as I can remember, I could carry on a normal conversation with someone, including the ladies, and be somewhat captivating. Then, if I would let out with a reference to the greatest television show ever...Star Trek...the same thing would always happen: The other person would give a subtle eye roll, a slight smirk, and claim that they just remembered they had something else they had to do. This was okay...except for the times I was in the middle of a date!
Why can you be a Patriots or Yankees fan, a fan of any of the new Pop music stars, a fan of a great historical figure, or a fan of a brand of ice cream....and never be considered a social outcast. But, just quote Captain Picard once, or translate one piece of important literature into Klingon, and you are now a social outcast! Why?!?
Well, I need to go. There's a three day Trekkie marathon starting and my Romulan popcorn is done.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
A Buick That Runs on Milk?
I just read a story (click here) that says milk could soar to $5 per gallon by the end of the year, well over the cost of a gallon of gas. This bit of news seems to be throwing panick into dairy lovers of all ages and backgrounds. I'm here to say...who cares?!?
Let me explain.
Gas has so many benefits. It powers our cars, let's us keep our grass in line (lawnmowers...keep it clean), helps us to create more and more motor scooter jokes, cleans anything off of anything (according to my dad), helps the charcoal get nice and hot really fast (again, according to my dad), let's us vacation on the mighty seas on luxurious cruises, and keeps about 4 billion people around the world employed searching for, creating, selling and cleaning up gas. The only downside? Maybe...and it's still controversial...maybe causes a small amount of greenhouse gases. Big Deal. So we have palm trees in Louisville.
Now, milk. What does it do? You can dunk cookies, and drown cereal. Big deal...I've been eating my cereal straight from the box, dry, for 30 years! Downsides? Lactose intolerance, and you have to drink somethink that comes from a freaky part of the cow. What were they thinkin'?
Personally $10 bucks a gallon for milk wouldn't bother me. Frankly, I wouldn't spend the $2.92per gallon of gas to go buy milk.
I say "Go Gas! No Milk!"
Compelling, aint it?
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Old...So Old.
41 is blowin' by, and 42 is coming on strong.
Age never seemed to bother me much, until the past 6 months or so. I've never been in great shape, and my body never used to hurt like it does now. I used to have to put on ointments to soothe muscle pain after playing basketball, or working hard in the yard all day. Now, I need ointments to just roll out of bed!
For some reason, I'm starting to feel like there's more life behind me than in front of me. I start to wonder if I'm on the right path. If I'm doing what I'm meant to do. This may sound defeatist. As my High School football coach, Mr. Spoerl, would have said," Whigham, you're a fathead...now get out there and play ball!"
But something cool popped up on the news today. Today, for the first time in MLB (Major League Baseball) history, 7 men who are in there 40's will start in games. Wow! Guys my age, pushin' off the mound...throwin' curve balls...striking out batters...winning games...making milions...millions...millions...
Somehow, now I feel worse!
Age never seemed to bother me much, until the past 6 months or so. I've never been in great shape, and my body never used to hurt like it does now. I used to have to put on ointments to soothe muscle pain after playing basketball, or working hard in the yard all day. Now, I need ointments to just roll out of bed!
For some reason, I'm starting to feel like there's more life behind me than in front of me. I start to wonder if I'm on the right path. If I'm doing what I'm meant to do. This may sound defeatist. As my High School football coach, Mr. Spoerl, would have said," Whigham, you're a fathead...now get out there and play ball!"
But something cool popped up on the news today. Today, for the first time in MLB (Major League Baseball) history, 7 men who are in there 40's will start in games. Wow! Guys my age, pushin' off the mound...throwin' curve balls...striking out batters...winning games...making milions...millions...millions...
Somehow, now I feel worse!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Favorite Pastime Pt.2
After tonite's LifePointe night at Slugger Field, I must say one thing...this church rocks! The fellowship, the genuine interest in each other, the ease with which everyone makes people feel at home...it amazes me every day!
Oh yeah...and Jamey throwin' one down the middle. That rocks, too!
Oh yeah...and Jamey throwin' one down the middle. That rocks, too!
Favorite Pastime
It's about 2 hours before LifePointe's night at the Louisville Bats game, and it's got me thinkin': what ever happened to baseball being America's favorite Pastime? I mean, we still love Mom and Apple Pie, so what about baseball?
It seems like anymore, the hype is all about the NFL and NBA. They hit harder, they move faster. The kids seem to be hypnotized by the stupid-huge contracts, and the endorsement deals.
I remember, as a kid, every summer day all the kids on our block went to Belmont Park and played baseball. And we played hard. We dove, we bunted, we ran out every ground ball. The pitched were fast, and curves and sliders were more than frequent. And it was everyday.
I remember going to Reds games with my dad. Several every year. And in the early 70's, Riverfront was almost always at capacity.
What has happened since then? What's different? I believe some of the problem is media...they love the faster games. But I also believe that some dads may not be sharing this pastime with their boys anymore. As with most traditions, the dad tends to be the initiator.
Whatever the reason, I still love the game. The smell of the grass. The way a hot dog always tastes better at the stadium. The roar of the crowd as a deep flyball almost makes it to the wall. And the little kids that bring their gloves to the game in hopes of catching a foul ball.
I still love the game.
Play Ball!
It seems like anymore, the hype is all about the NFL and NBA. They hit harder, they move faster. The kids seem to be hypnotized by the stupid-huge contracts, and the endorsement deals.
I remember, as a kid, every summer day all the kids on our block went to Belmont Park and played baseball. And we played hard. We dove, we bunted, we ran out every ground ball. The pitched were fast, and curves and sliders were more than frequent. And it was everyday.
I remember going to Reds games with my dad. Several every year. And in the early 70's, Riverfront was almost always at capacity.
What has happened since then? What's different? I believe some of the problem is media...they love the faster games. But I also believe that some dads may not be sharing this pastime with their boys anymore. As with most traditions, the dad tends to be the initiator.
Whatever the reason, I still love the game. The smell of the grass. The way a hot dog always tastes better at the stadium. The roar of the crowd as a deep flyball almost makes it to the wall. And the little kids that bring their gloves to the game in hopes of catching a foul ball.
I still love the game.
Play Ball!
Monday, June 25, 2007
LifePointe Rocks and Broken Dreams
Sunday night, I saw the coolest thing since moving to River City...the LifePointe Church Band rockin' out at the Hard Rock cafe.
How cool was it to see the guys who lead us in worship every Sunday leading a bar the same way?! And not only did we pack it in (if there was less than 60 LP people there, I would be shocked), but I noticed that regular patrons at the bar were getting into it. This is what it's about...spreading the word anyway we can!
Now, that leads me to my main pointe (get it? pointe!) It falls under the category of broken dreams. Ever since I was in 4th grade, I wanted to "rock out". I took lessons, I played at school
talent shows. I tried to impress the ladies...and by ladies, I mean any 10 year old girl that would listen to my guitar stylings. Much to my distress, however, I never put it over the top with the guitar. Maybe I gave up to easy. Maybe I never tried hard enough. Perhaps my fingers were too fat. Whatever the reason, I knew I would never be Eddie Van Halen.
Over the years, I brought the guitar out of storage for brief boughts of pain and aggrevation....mostly disappointment. And, it quickly went back into storage. Last Christmas, my bride bought me a Playstation 2 with Guitar Hero. It was like reliving my own Vietnam...the characters on the screen boo-ing me as I fumbled through the music which was careening past the screen.
But now...now it's different! Thanks to last night's performance, I have been inspired! I will get my guitar out of storage, I will practice every day, I will "rock out"....well, not today, though. I have a lot to do. Maybe tomorrow. Next week at the latest. But Rock I shall!
Watch out, Eddie Van Halen...here comes Chris Whigham!
How cool was it to see the guys who lead us in worship every Sunday leading a bar the same way?! And not only did we pack it in (if there was less than 60 LP people there, I would be shocked), but I noticed that regular patrons at the bar were getting into it. This is what it's about...spreading the word anyway we can!
Now, that leads me to my main pointe (get it? pointe!) It falls under the category of broken dreams. Ever since I was in 4th grade, I wanted to "rock out". I took lessons, I played at school
talent shows. I tried to impress the ladies...and by ladies, I mean any 10 year old girl that would listen to my guitar stylings. Much to my distress, however, I never put it over the top with the guitar. Maybe I gave up to easy. Maybe I never tried hard enough. Perhaps my fingers were too fat. Whatever the reason, I knew I would never be Eddie Van Halen.Over the years, I brought the guitar out of storage for brief boughts of pain and aggrevation....mostly disappointment. And, it quickly went back into storage. Last Christmas, my bride bought me a Playstation 2 with Guitar Hero. It was like reliving my own Vietnam...the characters on the screen boo-ing me as I fumbled through the music which was careening past the screen.
But now...now it's different! Thanks to last night's performance, I have been inspired! I will get my guitar out of storage, I will practice every day, I will "rock out"....well, not today, though. I have a lot to do. Maybe tomorrow. Next week at the latest. But Rock I shall!
Watch out, Eddie Van Halen...here comes Chris Whigham!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Cell Phone Fogey
I always thought of myself as someone who was fairly tech-savvy. I watched Star Trek since before I could walk (don't let that fool you...I was a late bloomer). I live on my computer. I read the tech magazines. I drool over the cool stuff I cant afford at Circuit City. But I believe I have finally hit the tech-wall.
I just saw a commercial for the new i-Phone coming out. This "phone" is the next evolution in hi-tech. The commercial told me that with the new i-Phone, I can: watch TV, cruise the 'net, listen to anyone of 873,067,978 songs I've loaded on it, find directions, watch music videos, buy baseball tickets, get advice on how to apologize to my wife when I'm wrong about something (which is always, I'm told), calculate the distance between galaxies to the nearest 1/4 mile, have virtual lunch with Secretary of State Condelisa Rice, and watch movies that haven't even been made yet.
Wow. By this time, I've broken into a cold sweat. I want it. No, I need it. Now. I jot down the number to the nearest store to pre-order it, then reach for my cell phone. My little silver cell phone, with the numbers faded on the crooked keys, a ring tone that sound like the soundtrack to an old Atari game, and filled with stored phone numbers to people that I don't even remember anymore.
I love that old phone. It's junk, but it's my junk. And it won't cost me $499.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Father's Day
Once again, another holiday which is supposed to make us fondly remember the impact of a relative is upon us: Father's Day.
This is a good day. We remember times when our fathers taught us to tie our shoes, taught us to drive, taught us how to pretend to listen to our wives while still secretly taking in every moment of the game (Whoops! Did I say that out loud? OUCH! Shannon just hit me in the arm!).
TV tends to treat the American Father as an oaf, someone who stumbles along life and every now and then "gets it right." His kids rarely respect him, and his wife merely tolerates him. While this does make for some entertaining moments (Homer Simpson is a personal favorite of mine), it does not do most dads justice.
Most dads I know are hard working men who do what it takes on a daily basis to put food on the table and keep his kids happy. My college fraternity brothers, with whom I spent many a late night with while we, shall we say, "painted the town red," have turned into some of the most incredible dads I've know. (Side Note: In an ironic twist of fate, all of those guys have had daughters...a funny bit of "revenge"). My own dad, who had his shares of parenting mishaps, still holds a huge place in my heart. He taught me many of the values I hold onto today.
Lets all try to remember the great times with dad. There may have been down times, but today, just today, lets pretend they never happened.
So...here's to all the dads on their special day. Most of us would not be where we are without them (which goes without saying!).
Monday, June 11, 2007
Louisville Top Ten
In the nine months since my wife and I have lived here (nine months already...wow!), when people find out we moved here from Vegas, the response more times than not is "Why did you move here?" Well, I just want to let all of those people that live here to know just what is so cool about Louisville. So, ala Letterman, here is my Top Ten Reasons Louisville Is A Good Place to Live.
10. It only rains every other day.
9. Rolled Oysters. (What the...?)
8. Contrary to popular belief outside the state, there are plenty of dentists in Kentucky.
7. Tax money not wasted on pesky things like road repair.
6. Mosquitoes are big enough to put a leash on and keep as cheap pets.
5. City motto changing from "Do Something Original" to "Where Else You Gonna Go...Indiana?!?"
4. Summer breeze plus Ohio River equals fun for the nose!
3. By day, Mayor Abramson runs city, by night he fights crime in a bird costume as Captain Cardinal.
2. Louisville banks no longer bury your money in their backyard...now use shoeboxes in dresser drawers.
And the number one reason that Louisville Is A Good Place to Live is...
1. The questions "Is It Hot Enough For You," and Is It Cold Enough For You," never get old!
10. It only rains every other day.
9. Rolled Oysters. (What the...?)
8. Contrary to popular belief outside the state, there are plenty of dentists in Kentucky.
7. Tax money not wasted on pesky things like road repair.
6. Mosquitoes are big enough to put a leash on and keep as cheap pets.
5. City motto changing from "Do Something Original" to "Where Else You Gonna Go...Indiana?!?"
4. Summer breeze plus Ohio River equals fun for the nose!
3. By day, Mayor Abramson runs city, by night he fights crime in a bird costume as Captain Cardinal.
2. Louisville banks no longer bury your money in their backyard...now use shoeboxes in dresser drawers.
And the number one reason that Louisville Is A Good Place to Live is...
1. The questions "Is It Hot Enough For You," and Is It Cold Enough For You," never get old!
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Louisville Immigration Policy
The #1, huge topic in the nation right now is the debate on immigration. It is dividing political parties, families, and in some way, the nation. Every politician has their own opinion on how to fix the problem of millions of illegal aliens crossing the border: more border patrol, a 700 mile fence, stricter laws. They all have decent ideas, but none have the perfect solution. I have to inform all of you, and all of the D.C. politicians right now that I, Chris Whigham, have found the solution which will keep the influx of illegals from streaming into our nation: Simply move the
I-65 bridge from Louisville to the Rio Grande.
Seriously. Earlier today, at 2pm (which, I will add is not a rush hour in the traditional sense), it took me 45 minutes to drive over that bridge! And to make it worse, it was one of those jams where, when you finally got to "ground zero", there was absolutely no reason for the jam! For my readers who do not live here in "Kentuckiana", this bridge (named the JFK...very original), is about 1/4 mile long.
And this was all made worse but the unfortunate fact that I had just come from a Mexican lunch...both ironic and painful (if you know what I mean). As tears were coming to my eyes, and the 109 mile per hour traffic kept whipping by me in the left lane preventing me from switching over, I realized I was trapped in some type of twilight zone scenario. One which an illegal alien couldn't even escape.
So, look, in the near future, for my new website: www.movethestupidbridgetomexico.com.
Everyone has to have a cause. This might as well be mine.
I-65 bridge from Louisville to the Rio Grande.
Seriously. Earlier today, at 2pm (which, I will add is not a rush hour in the traditional sense), it took me 45 minutes to drive over that bridge! And to make it worse, it was one of those jams where, when you finally got to "ground zero", there was absolutely no reason for the jam! For my readers who do not live here in "Kentuckiana", this bridge (named the JFK...very original), is about 1/4 mile long.
And this was all made worse but the unfortunate fact that I had just come from a Mexican lunch...both ironic and painful (if you know what I mean). As tears were coming to my eyes, and the 109 mile per hour traffic kept whipping by me in the left lane preventing me from switching over, I realized I was trapped in some type of twilight zone scenario. One which an illegal alien couldn't even escape.
So, look, in the near future, for my new website: www.movethestupidbridgetomexico.com.
Everyone has to have a cause. This might as well be mine.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Man Flicks
Gotta tell ya...I love a good action flick. I'm not talkin about a drama with a car chase. I'm talkin' about an old fashioned, knock down-drag out, car-flipping, guns blazing, chicks screaming, terrorists plotting, evil doing, good guy triumphing, blood pumping, adrenaline flowing, huge explosions happenin' man-flick. That's what I'm talking about.
Chick flicks are fine. But they have a time and a place. Dates, for instance. And...well, that's about it. But a man-flick...that's good for any occasion.
And what makes a good man-flick? In my humble opinion, it must have these 3 ingredients:
1) There must be a man who has been wronged, and will stop at nothing to correct it.
2) There must be an explosion or gunshot every 5 minutes
3) There must be a reasonable fear that if you go to the restroom, you will miss something big.
These are optional elements:
1) A love interest (but she must have limited lines) (Shannons gonna punch me)
2) Car Chase (these can be cool, but after so many chases over the years, is there a "fresh" one?
3) A dog. ( I like a hero that has a cool dog)
These are never good elements for a great action flick:
1) A love interest that talks too much (Shannon's gonna punch me...hard)
2) Main characters played by ex-NFL players (almost always a bad move)
3) German bad guys (way overdone. Besides, they've had enough of a bad rap already)
Those are my rules. Simple. Complete.
So, I suggest you take the one you love, kiss her gently, put her in the car, and drive her to the movie theater to see a bunch of bad guys get blowed up really good!
Chick flicks are fine. But they have a time and a place. Dates, for instance. And...well, that's about it. But a man-flick...that's good for any occasion.
And what makes a good man-flick? In my humble opinion, it must have these 3 ingredients:
1) There must be a man who has been wronged, and will stop at nothing to correct it.
2) There must be an explosion or gunshot every 5 minutes
3) There must be a reasonable fear that if you go to the restroom, you will miss something big.
These are optional elements:
1) A love interest (but she must have limited lines) (Shannons gonna punch me)
2) Car Chase (these can be cool, but after so many chases over the years, is there a "fresh" one?
3) A dog. ( I like a hero that has a cool dog)
These are never good elements for a great action flick:
1) A love interest that talks too much (Shannon's gonna punch me...hard)
2) Main characters played by ex-NFL players (almost always a bad move)
3) German bad guys (way overdone. Besides, they've had enough of a bad rap already)
Those are my rules. Simple. Complete.
So, I suggest you take the one you love, kiss her gently, put her in the car, and drive her to the movie theater to see a bunch of bad guys get blowed up really good!
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Midnight...The Night Before "Gameday"
It's Midnight on Saturday, and as usual, insomnia has taken roots in my evening. Maybe it's all of the important stuff that is crammed into my mind: Pay rent tomorrow. Did I use the NLT on Jameys verses, or accidentally slip in a bizarre new version of the Bible, such as the NLKJSGFSV? Can I be cool and relevant at the same time as I flash the slides on the screen during Jamey's message? Will Ross like this Blog?
The real shame is my wife fell asleep 7.3 seconds after her head hit the pillow. How does she do it?
Well, I paused the Tivo during Schwarzenneger's "Eraser" to write this. so lets get going.
Tomorrow marks the first message in the 5-part "Heroes" series, and I am thinking about the Heroes in my life. Can I have more than one? The dictionary defines "hero" as:" a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities. " Who in my life falls into that definition? Let me list some possibilities:
Jamey, for leading Lifepointe. My Dad, for taking my crap for 18 years before kicking me out. My wife, for taking my crap for 11 years without kicking me out. Ross, for having the courage to wear shorts in public. All the guys I know who do what it takes to support their families (a serious one). President W., for stickin' to his guns. Captain James T. Kirk, for making the galaxy safe for humanity. And Jerry, my dog, who lets all kinds of strangers pet him on our walks when I know he'd much rather be inside eating a Milkbone and takin' a nap.
As you can see, I have many potential heroes. But, as I close, I know in my heart that there is only one true hero in my life. One man who through decades of good times and bad times was always there for his fans, his loved ones. He never gave up, and was always there for me.
Ronald McDonald. Thanks for the good times.
The real shame is my wife fell asleep 7.3 seconds after her head hit the pillow. How does she do it?
Well, I paused the Tivo during Schwarzenneger's "Eraser" to write this. so lets get going.
Tomorrow marks the first message in the 5-part "Heroes" series, and I am thinking about the Heroes in my life. Can I have more than one? The dictionary defines "hero" as:" a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities. " Who in my life falls into that definition? Let me list some possibilities:
Jamey, for leading Lifepointe. My Dad, for taking my crap for 18 years before kicking me out. My wife, for taking my crap for 11 years without kicking me out. Ross, for having the courage to wear shorts in public. All the guys I know who do what it takes to support their families (a serious one). President W., for stickin' to his guns. Captain James T. Kirk, for making the galaxy safe for humanity. And Jerry, my dog, who lets all kinds of strangers pet him on our walks when I know he'd much rather be inside eating a Milkbone and takin' a nap.
As you can see, I have many potential heroes. But, as I close, I know in my heart that there is only one true hero in my life. One man who through decades of good times and bad times was always there for his fans, his loved ones. He never gave up, and was always there for me.
Ronald McDonald. Thanks for the good times.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Somethin' New, Somethin' Borrowed, Somethin' Blue...
Not really. But, notice some of the new additions to this already near-perfect blog: e-Bible, a weekly poll, and other cool links. I am either an incredible innovator, or just incredibly bored.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Politics and Religion
You know the old saying...the two topics you can't talk about in a crowd are religion and politics. Well, today, I want to put an end to that. And I'm proud to say that BLOGGER.COM, the company that hosts this blog, this piece of outstanding American journalism, has the courage to let me speak my religious and political mind. And, I feel that PC America can handle it.
Ready? Here we go!
First, I want to say, I love ***. I try to let *** in every area of my life. In fact, I don't think I could get thru the day if I didn't have *** to lean on. I like to start the day by reading the *****, and then I like to pray to ***. And I feel especially close to *** on sundays at ******. Wow, that felt good!
Now, secondly, I believe the candidate i'm going to vote for in the presidential election is ****. **** is the only one, I believe, that can continue the *** on ******. Also, he will keep the ******* ******** from crossing the border. He is strong, knows where he is going, and will not sell out to special interest groups. **** is definitely my man!
Wow! That was liberating! I'm glad that in this age of political correctness I was able to speak my religious and political mind. Thanks, America! And thanks Blogger.com for not censoring me! We've come a long way, baby!
Ready? Here we go!
First, I want to say, I love ***. I try to let *** in every area of my life. In fact, I don't think I could get thru the day if I didn't have *** to lean on. I like to start the day by reading the *****, and then I like to pray to ***. And I feel especially close to *** on sundays at ******. Wow, that felt good!
Now, secondly, I believe the candidate i'm going to vote for in the presidential election is ****. **** is the only one, I believe, that can continue the *** on ******. Also, he will keep the ******* ******** from crossing the border. He is strong, knows where he is going, and will not sell out to special interest groups. **** is definitely my man!
Wow! That was liberating! I'm glad that in this age of political correctness I was able to speak my religious and political mind. Thanks, America! And thanks Blogger.com for not censoring me! We've come a long way, baby!
Monday, May 28, 2007
6 Days of Nothin'
Sorry it's been 6 days without a fresh post. It's amazing how much the final week of the TV season will take out of you!
Actually, spent the past 2 days in Ohio visiting friends and family. Gotta tell ya...It's been 19 months since we moved from Dayton (the "Paris" of the midwest). We moved for a couple of reasons, some personal and some church related (another story for another time). We were like the pioneers of the old west...the two of us, 2 large dogs, a cat and all the possessions we could fit in a 91 Caprice Classic, and headed west to Vegas. I remember that day well. It was cold. Raining. We were broke (not much has changed since then!). And we had so much stuff in the car, I couldn't even see Shannon next to me in the passenger seat (no kidding!). And it felt like a relief to leave a town that wore me down for 39 years, a town with a collapsing economy and seemingly more bad memories than good.
But today, on the ride back from Dayton to Louisville, I realized one thing: I have always been surrounded by great people. Friends, family...everyone! The ways that the lives of these people, that I have known for 10, 20 and 30 years plus, are unfolding are incredible! And I love listening and watching every minute of it. It is amazing how a 2 1/2 hour drive can be so refreshing, relaxing and affirming. To me, a valuable lesson...it's not the place, but the people. Louisville's also a great place, but the people we are meeting are even greater. I have always had the itch to become a writer, but I could only dream of writing the stuff I see in front of me!
The Biography channel has a motto: "Every life has a story." Well, I am thankful for the stories I have learned up until now, and I can't wait for the stories I'm about to learn.
I realize this posting is a little more self-indulgent than usual, but in the words of my beautiful wife Shannon: "Deal with it!"
Actually, spent the past 2 days in Ohio visiting friends and family. Gotta tell ya...It's been 19 months since we moved from Dayton (the "Paris" of the midwest). We moved for a couple of reasons, some personal and some church related (another story for another time). We were like the pioneers of the old west...the two of us, 2 large dogs, a cat and all the possessions we could fit in a 91 Caprice Classic, and headed west to Vegas. I remember that day well. It was cold. Raining. We were broke (not much has changed since then!). And we had so much stuff in the car, I couldn't even see Shannon next to me in the passenger seat (no kidding!). And it felt like a relief to leave a town that wore me down for 39 years, a town with a collapsing economy and seemingly more bad memories than good.
But today, on the ride back from Dayton to Louisville, I realized one thing: I have always been surrounded by great people. Friends, family...everyone! The ways that the lives of these people, that I have known for 10, 20 and 30 years plus, are unfolding are incredible! And I love listening and watching every minute of it. It is amazing how a 2 1/2 hour drive can be so refreshing, relaxing and affirming. To me, a valuable lesson...it's not the place, but the people. Louisville's also a great place, but the people we are meeting are even greater. I have always had the itch to become a writer, but I could only dream of writing the stuff I see in front of me!
The Biography channel has a motto: "Every life has a story." Well, I am thankful for the stories I have learned up until now, and I can't wait for the stories I'm about to learn.
I realize this posting is a little more self-indulgent than usual, but in the words of my beautiful wife Shannon: "Deal with it!"
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
24
It's the day after the big season finale of 24. If you've been living in Tibet for the past 6 years and aren't familiar with the premise of 24, the entire season takes place over a 24 hour period, one hour every week. And, once again, Jack Bauer escaped kidnappers, saved the girl, killed the bad guys, stopped the bomb, killed more bad guys, disobeyed but was later pardoned by the President, escaped again, and killed more bad guys. What a cool ride!
But as I think of what Bauer does in that 24 hour period, I reflect on some of Jamey's recent messages such as "Priorities"," Identity" andthe upcoming "Committment." What does my "24" look like?
The following takes place between 7am and 8am: I'm asleep.
The following takes place between 8am and 9am: Still sleeping.
The following takes place between 9am and 10am: Waking up, but still groggy.
The following takes place between 10am and 11am: Reading Ross' blog while eating Cheerios
The following takes place between 11am and 12pm: Price is Right! C'mon Down!
The following takes place between 12pm and 1pm: Decide if I wear black or blue shorts today
The following takes place between 1pm and 2pm: See if Ross posted new article on Blog yet
The following takes place between 2pm and 3pm: Have staring contest with my dogs
The following takes place between 3pm and 4pm: Couch plus warm spring day equals nap!
The following takes place between 4pm and 5pm: You heard me say nap, didn't you?
The following takes place between 5pm and 6pm: Waking up, but still groggy
The following takes place between 6pm and 7pm: Better do chores before Shannon gets home
The following takes place between 7pm and 8pm: Deciding what chores to do first
The following takes place between 8pm and 9pm: Only have time to vacuum before she gets home...she's gonna be mad!
And you can pretty much see how the rest will go. You would think my reflections would lead me to ask the question, "Am I doing the most productive things with my time?" However, my only conclusion is, "How can I get more nap time in?"
But as I think of what Bauer does in that 24 hour period, I reflect on some of Jamey's recent messages such as "Priorities"," Identity" andthe upcoming "Committment." What does my "24" look like?
The following takes place between 7am and 8am: I'm asleep.
The following takes place between 8am and 9am: Still sleeping.
The following takes place between 9am and 10am: Waking up, but still groggy.
The following takes place between 10am and 11am: Reading Ross' blog while eating Cheerios
The following takes place between 11am and 12pm: Price is Right! C'mon Down!
The following takes place between 12pm and 1pm: Decide if I wear black or blue shorts today
The following takes place between 1pm and 2pm: See if Ross posted new article on Blog yet
The following takes place between 2pm and 3pm: Have staring contest with my dogs
The following takes place between 3pm and 4pm: Couch plus warm spring day equals nap!
The following takes place between 4pm and 5pm: You heard me say nap, didn't you?
The following takes place between 5pm and 6pm: Waking up, but still groggy
The following takes place between 6pm and 7pm: Better do chores before Shannon gets home
The following takes place between 7pm and 8pm: Deciding what chores to do first
The following takes place between 8pm and 9pm: Only have time to vacuum before she gets home...she's gonna be mad!
And you can pretty much see how the rest will go. You would think my reflections would lead me to ask the question, "Am I doing the most productive things with my time?" However, my only conclusion is, "How can I get more nap time in?"
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
"Bring a Friend" Thoughts
This week is a huge event at our church, Life Pointe. It's "Bring a Friend Day" on sunday, and it should be a great day.
Once again, the upcoming service makes me think of days gone by...to a simpler time. A time when a young lad growing up on the "mean streets" of Dayton, Ohio spent his summer days chasing ice cream trucks and watching Star Trek re-runs (yes...it was me.) I think back to my best friend of that era, Scott. Scott and I spent many days making fun of other kids, getting punched, mouthing off to older kids, getting punched, and trying to get the neighborhood girls to kiss us (and then getting punched). I look at those days with fondness, and a sore jaw. Even though we were beat up an awful lot, what counted is that we were beat up together. And that's what having a friend is all about: doing stuff together. And as I think back, I remember one more, very important thing: that son-of-a-gun Scott still owes me $2.00 and a pack of Pop Rocks!
Good times...good times.
Once again, the upcoming service makes me think of days gone by...to a simpler time. A time when a young lad growing up on the "mean streets" of Dayton, Ohio spent his summer days chasing ice cream trucks and watching Star Trek re-runs (yes...it was me.) I think back to my best friend of that era, Scott. Scott and I spent many days making fun of other kids, getting punched, mouthing off to older kids, getting punched, and trying to get the neighborhood girls to kiss us (and then getting punched). I look at those days with fondness, and a sore jaw. Even though we were beat up an awful lot, what counted is that we were beat up together. And that's what having a friend is all about: doing stuff together. And as I think back, I remember one more, very important thing: that son-of-a-gun Scott still owes me $2.00 and a pack of Pop Rocks!
Good times...good times.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Mom's Day
Wow! What a great day for Life Pointe Church! The message was inspiring, the worship music was awesome, and the graphics stole the show! (Okay...maybe stole the show is an exaggeration...just given myself some props!)
186 people in attendance...wow! Not bad for starting 4 1/2 months ago w/only 50 or 60!
Now, on to my favorite part of the day. Lunch. Not because of the tasty fajita burrito at Qdoba (maybe I can get a little endorsement cash for that), not because of the totally electric mood at the table from everyone regarding one of our best days as a church ever, and not because of the free refills on my diet soda (diet, because I'm trying to maintain my girlish figure). No, none of those are the reason for lunch being my favorite part.
It was my favorite part because Jeremy, one of our leaders, dazzled us with stories of his high school days as a Hoopeston Cornjerker. That's right...you read right. Their mascott was a cornjerker. So that our minds dont digress to parts unknown, here is what the encyclopedia says about a cornjerker:
186 people in attendance...wow! Not bad for starting 4 1/2 months ago w/only 50 or 60!
Now, on to my favorite part of the day. Lunch. Not because of the tasty fajita burrito at Qdoba (maybe I can get a little endorsement cash for that), not because of the totally electric mood at the table from everyone regarding one of our best days as a church ever, and not because of the free refills on my diet soda (diet, because I'm trying to maintain my girlish figure). No, none of those are the reason for lunch being my favorite part.
It was my favorite part because Jeremy, one of our leaders, dazzled us with stories of his high school days as a Hoopeston Cornjerker. That's right...you read right. Their mascott was a cornjerker. So that our minds dont digress to parts unknown, here is what the encyclopedia says about a cornjerker:
"In a time before modern machinery, when work was done by hand and horsepower was measured in mules, sweet corn was pulled or jerked from the stalk. The leaves were shucked off and the golden ears were thrown in a wooden wagon pulled by a team of mules. This was Cornjerking, In other parts of the United States, this harvesting process may have been known as corn snapping, corn shucking, or corn husking. The many laborers who walked the fields to harvest the crops were called Cornjerkers. "
All I know is this...the term cornjerker makes soda pop shoot out of my nose.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Mother's Day Prep
Ahhh, Mom....the woman who was in labor for 312 hours with me (I'm not sure, but I think the time increases every time I hear the story).
As I prepare for this week's special Moms Day Service, I think back to my own childhood with my Mom. All the sacrifices she made...the times she gave up her share of the apple pie when there wasn't enough. The time she didn't take seconds on the Chef Boy Ardee spaghetti night. The time she let me have the last piece of chicken out of the Colonels bucket.
Wait a minute...I sense a trend here. Is this why I'm 10 - 15 pounds overweight? (Awkward laughter inserted here).
Seriously, If there were tough times growing up, i don't really remember them. When I think of Mom, I think of an awful lot of great times. The band aids on cuts. The kind words and soup when I was sick. The positive affirmations, even when life just handed me a bushel of lemons, and I lost the recipe for lemonade. And I hope that's what every else thinks of this week. The great times.
Thanks Mom.
As I prepare for this week's special Moms Day Service, I think back to my own childhood with my Mom. All the sacrifices she made...the times she gave up her share of the apple pie when there wasn't enough. The time she didn't take seconds on the Chef Boy Ardee spaghetti night. The time she let me have the last piece of chicken out of the Colonels bucket.
Wait a minute...I sense a trend here. Is this why I'm 10 - 15 pounds overweight? (Awkward laughter inserted here).
Seriously, If there were tough times growing up, i don't really remember them. When I think of Mom, I think of an awful lot of great times. The band aids on cuts. The kind words and soup when I was sick. The positive affirmations, even when life just handed me a bushel of lemons, and I lost the recipe for lemonade. And I hope that's what every else thinks of this week. The great times.
Thanks Mom.
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Derby Day Water Handout
Well, today is the day. The biggest day of the year in Louisville...The Kentucky Derby. And we thought it would be cool as a church (Life Pointe) to hand out water to people entering Churchill Downs. And it was...we handed out over 1200 bottles of water, and a lot of breakfast bars.
It was kind of tough, though. I can't believe how many people looked at us like we were trying to sell them something! The old "If it's too good to be true" syndrom.
My favorite moments of the day were at the end when Stephen was giving out his last few cereal bars, and I heard him say "I think they have protein", and "It taste like meat!"
Ahhh, a natural born salesman.
It was kind of tough, though. I can't believe how many people looked at us like we were trying to sell them something! The old "If it's too good to be true" syndrom.
My favorite moments of the day were at the end when Stephen was giving out his last few cereal bars, and I heard him say "I think they have protein", and "It taste like meat!"
Ahhh, a natural born salesman.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Priorities
This week's message at Life Pointe will be on "Priorities." That's cool, except I just don't know where to begin. (That joke will never get old this week!)
It's kind of cool getting a sneak peak at Jamey's message 4 or 5 days before it's delivered because it gives some extra time for self-reflection, which makes for perfect fodder for this blog!
It's at this point of the week that I start thinking of relevant movie clips, audio and slides to throw up on the big screen. This is where my inner battle begins. I know I need to us things that have mass appeal and are contemporary, yet the Dork in me still thinks "Maybe there's a relevant Star Trek scene I could use!" Don't worry...I've know Jamey for 5 years, and he has always shot down my ideas for Bible-Star Trek connections. Although, he seems to be getting closer to letting me translate one of his messages into Klingon!
Anyway, if you're reading this, take a few days before Sunday to reflect on your priorities. And if you're not reading this...well, then you're not reading this!
It's kind of cool getting a sneak peak at Jamey's message 4 or 5 days before it's delivered because it gives some extra time for self-reflection, which makes for perfect fodder for this blog!
It's at this point of the week that I start thinking of relevant movie clips, audio and slides to throw up on the big screen. This is where my inner battle begins. I know I need to us things that have mass appeal and are contemporary, yet the Dork in me still thinks "Maybe there's a relevant Star Trek scene I could use!" Don't worry...I've know Jamey for 5 years, and he has always shot down my ideas for Bible-Star Trek connections. Although, he seems to be getting closer to letting me translate one of his messages into Klingon!
Anyway, if you're reading this, take a few days before Sunday to reflect on your priorities. And if you're not reading this...well, then you're not reading this!
Sunday, April 29, 2007
What Is A "Media Pastor?"
This is the guy who puts together videos and slides for a service. He also helps out in any aspect of church advertising.
I have the absolute pleasure of being the Media Pastor at Louisville's newest and coolest church...Life Pointe! The music is awesome...local musician Stephen McWhirter is the Worship Leader. Pastor Jamey Johnson is the Senior Pastor...you will never hear a more relevant message! And the twist...we meet in a movie theater! The Stonybrook Cinema DeLux on Hurstbourne. Great seats and a cool atmosphere...every Sunday at 10:15am.
It's amazing to be a part of something so big for God. We've doubled in size in the 4 months we've been open. The whole team is a dream to work with.
Check in frequently as I give a "behind the scenes" look at what goes on in preparing for a service. It may not be sexy, but it's definitely fun and has it's drama!
I have the absolute pleasure of being the Media Pastor at Louisville's newest and coolest church...Life Pointe! The music is awesome...local musician Stephen McWhirter is the Worship Leader. Pastor Jamey Johnson is the Senior Pastor...you will never hear a more relevant message! And the twist...we meet in a movie theater! The Stonybrook Cinema DeLux on Hurstbourne. Great seats and a cool atmosphere...every Sunday at 10:15am.
It's amazing to be a part of something so big for God. We've doubled in size in the 4 months we've been open. The whole team is a dream to work with.
Check in frequently as I give a "behind the scenes" look at what goes on in preparing for a service. It may not be sexy, but it's definitely fun and has it's drama!
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