30 Days and Out

So some people get bored.

Apparently, when a person changes jobs avery 30 days or so, there seems to be a "stigma" attached to him. Some would say he has A.D.D. Others would say he has no committment. Still others say "He must just suck at everything!"

I would say " Hey...maybe this person just happens to be so brilliant that he gets everything he can out of a particular job in 30 days, and feels like the mission is accomplished!"

Truth is, who really knows why a new job appears on this particular resume every month? It could be any of a dozen different reasons. In fact, one of the greatest icons of the 50's/60's based his greatness on job jumping ("The Great Impostor").

The only thing that really hurts is when the staff of a certain church (get the Pointe?) runs a pool on what day of the month will be his last day on the job. Well, as long as the winner tithes the winnings, I guess it's okay.

Now, I have to go. I've got a date with Monster.com.

Just Who Is the Biigest Loser?

I just got finished watching the latest episode of this seasons "The Biggest Loser."

I must admit, it is an intriguing show. There's drama, tears, yelling, tears, cheering, tears, heartbreak, tears, sweat, tears....a whole bunch of tears.

Man, these people cry alot!

Now, please don't misunderstand. I, more than anyone, can understand and sympathize with the plight of the overweight. I mean, I've had a weight problem all my life! My doctor said it's because I swallow alot of aggression...along with a lot of pizza! (Okay, that's my homage to John Candy in Stripes).

I can understand why they cry on the first episode. They can't believe how far they let their bodies go.

I know why they cry during he challenges. The human drama is the most intense.

I know why they cry at weigh ins...overwhelming joy.

But what I think is hilarious is when someone, usually a woman (sorry girls...truth hurts!), starts to strike deals and conive with others to destroy someone else's chances at staying in the Biggest Loser camp, and then when they achieve their goal of voting that person off, she starts to bawl like a baby! That is hilarious!

All of that aside, it is a great show. Although, one thing has always bugged me a liitle bit about reality programs: We end up watching others achieve the goals and dreams we desire. It's great if watching the show inspires us. We all need inspiration. But it's bad when you just watch life instead of participating.

Holy cow! That statement comes from a guy who has watched somewhere around 18 billion hours of TV, and for the first five years of his life thought Captain Kirk was his real father.

Well, times change, and people grow.

Now, I must depart. Denny Crain awaits!

Aint Love Grand!

Just came back from a wedding, and I of course have an observation.

First of all, it took me back to our wedding day 12 years ago. I was amazed that after months of tedious planning, the day just whipped by, and I honestly don't have much of a memory of it!

I mean, I remember being at the church. I remember the priest forgetting to have me kiss the bride (I still hear about that one!). I remember the "Chicken Dance". Yes, the Chicken Dance, the one thing my lovely bride had asked us not to have, and there it was. But other than those things, not so much.

That's why weddings are interesting times to observe the Bride and Groom.

There's a lot of strained smiling going on. Alot of shaking hands, hugging and laughing at akward jokes told in mixed company. And, alot of the usual comments..."The cake is beautiful!" "The Groom cleans up nice!" And, "Hey, (fill in the name), now it's your turn to get hitched!"

But through it all, I notice one thing. The bride and groom are always at their happiest when they get the rare moment to be alone...even for a second...and enjoy each other.

Aint love grand!

The Stuff of Character

Flashback 30 years....

"Son, I know it's high noon and 99 degrees. I know it's a push mower, and the yard hasn't been cut for three weeks. But, it needs to be done...and, it'll build character."

Why...oh why...is it that when there's something you have to do that really, really sucks, it allegedly "builds character?"

The only reason I'm having this flashback to my innocuous, if not painful, childhood (it was only painful because the bullies wouldn't stop beating me sensless when I refused to stop speaking in Klingon) is because of this past weekend.

It's funny how a totally unrelated event can bring an old feeling to the surface.

As I watched my good friend Ross lament at the impending loss of his Oklahoma Sooners, one phrase popped to mind. I wanted to look Ross in the eye as he suffered through the humiliation of having potential championship dreams dashed to pieces and say,"Ross, it'll be okay. At least it will build character."

That was it. At that very instant in time, I had become my Dad.

I actually realized the power of that simple statement :"It'll build character." It's only 3 (or 4) words, but it carries an awesome reponsibility. Never have 3 or 4 words meant so much.

To the man who says it, it means "Hah! Now you are as miserable as I!"

To the man who hears it, it means: "Where's the nearest noose."

Well, I was able to break that cycle before it even began. I will not become one of the countless millions of 70's era men that have tossed that statement around with careless abandon. No, I will be a thoughtful friend, and lament with my fellow sportsfans and human beings.

In the meantime, I'm going to finish watching the Bengals on Monday Night Football. It's brutal. But, hey...at least it builds character.

Thumbs Up...or down.

Well, I'm typing this without the use of my thumbs.

Actually, the week started off great. My wife and I began a new program we developed called "Living 180." It encompasses diet, finances and everything in order to turn our lives around. Our site is myspace.com/living180. Check it out!

A few days ago I was doing a very normal grooming task. i was cutting my nails. My thumbnail was hanging on for dear life, so I yanked it out. Apparently, yanking is not something a thumb likes. Three days later, a massive infection.

I, like alot of men, felt the infection would take care of itself. What can I say...me and the Docs don't mix well. My wife, however, had other plans for me this morning when she woke up and saw my thumb, twice it's normal size. Off to Urgent care we went.

Remember the old days when doctors used to say things like "Don't worry, this won't hurt a bit"? My doctor started off by saying "Man, you're not gonna like this. This is gonna hurt!"

And it went downhill from there.

Flash forward to lunch. I'm cutting an apple. But all our knives are dirty. Instead of washing one, I use a bread knife. It slips, and I cut the other thumb. Ouch.

I am a moron.

That being said...it could be worse. As I'm writing this, Syracuse threw a 79 yard pass for a touchdown to start the game off with Louisville. I could be a Cards fan right now.

Oh wait. It is worse. I'm a Notre Dame fan.

Dirty Rotten Cheaters!

Wow! Some big time cheatin' goin' on in the past week!

The Patriots get nailed for video taping Jets signals...$750,000 in total fines.

Team McLaren in F1 Racing gets caught with secret info on opponents cars...total fines of $100,000,000. Yes, that's $100 million!

OJ getting caught in a "secret sting operation" to retrieving his stuff...total fine...our dignity for having to watch his crap on tv again.

Gotta tell ya...I love sports as much as the next guy. Yes, even if the next guy is Ross and his wall-Lion. However, I am in awe that $100,750,000 in fines have been levied against only two organizations. Am I concerned because of the stupid amounts of cash that needlesly flows through the sports world? Is it because we,as fans, are following these stories like our lives depended on it? Or, is it because i am concerned about the well being of the victims in the cases?

No. None of the above.

$100 million!!??! Man, my hardest decision today was if I should buy a name brand can of peas and use a coupon, or go with the Kroger brand.

$100 million???!!!? I'm wearin' underwear that's 8 years old because I can't justify the rising cost of woven cotton!

$100 million?!!? My dogs eat food that's $3.99 for a 50lb bag because I believe it's the same as Iams...a dog food conspiracy that goes all the way to the top!

There it is. I just can't imagine having $100 million...let alone having $100 million to waste on a fine.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to find that coupon that gets me a $4.99 haircut at Great Clips.

That's interesting

Not much to talk about today, however I have found an interesting fact..,

According to Lexus Nexus, this week's most mentioned headline had to do with...not the anniversary of 911. Not the announcement by our general in Iraq. Not escalating oil prices. Not anything that seems remotely important.

Our #1 headline so far this week has been about: Brittany's performance at the Video Music Awards.

I can't even add to that.